What exactly is verbal abuse? How do you handle it?
taybri2 asked:
My dh routinely tells me to f— off. When he is in a “bad” mood, he calls me names. I’ve put up with it for almost 15 yrs. Yesterday, however he “attacked” our 10 yr old dtr. She slammed a door. He told her if she did that again, he would slam her f—head in the f—door. My dtrs friend heard it, was scared and ended up calling her parents to pick her up. I did not find out about this until the next day. My husband offered to apologize to the friend and her family. How should I handle this?
Maxine
My dh routinely tells me to f— off. When he is in a “bad” mood, he calls me names. I’ve put up with it for almost 15 yrs. Yesterday, however he “attacked” our 10 yr old dtr. She slammed a door. He told her if she did that again, he would slam her f—head in the f—door. My dtrs friend heard it, was scared and ended up calling her parents to pick her up. I did not find out about this until the next day. My husband offered to apologize to the friend and her family. How should I handle this?
Maxine
June 12th, 2009 at 4:22 am
Brian
yer husband is bipolar and possessed. pray the blood of Jesus around yourself and get holy water and a cross. when he displays this behavior hold the cross at his face and throw the holy water on him and rebuke the devil in the name of Jesus. the devil will flee and standing will be your husband.
June 14th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Louise
that’s horrible do you and your daughter a favor.Leave.
June 14th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Gary
hHAVE HIM GO 2 COUNCILING! my friends dad did that and i never went over to their house again because i was scared of him.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:12 am
he really needs help to control his tongue. if he offered to apologize that means he know that he has a problem. i would tell him that i can’t put up with this any longer. either get help to control it or i will see you later
June 17th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Bethany
SYD gave you the best advise.
June 18th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Lyle
You should allow him to go apologize to the family but he needs to get his temper in check and then get some counseling. A 10 year old girl is very easily traumatized- you don’t want her to have a fear of men for the rest of her life, do you? Or worse, let him “accidentally” hit her when he is angry?
June 19th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Tyler
Your husband need help. He is the person with temper.
Verbal abuse is scream at people. call them name and cursing them , threaten them. Sorry is not enough. If you are my friend and you husband did that to my kids than he is going to have lot of problems with me. Believe me, you would never see my kids come to visiting you again.
Well, you must be an angle to put up with some one like that for 15yrs. Do what ever you think it is right and for yout own safety too.
June 22nd, 2009 at 4:35 am
Lee
You chose to put up with his nastiness and verbal abuse for 15 years. If you don’t protect your child from this, you will be abusing them - what do you think this is doing to her? They should not have to suffer this man just because you chose to put up with him - that is wrong.
Your husband should apologize to the friend in front of her parents. He should also apologize to you and your daughter. In addition to apologizing, he needs to go to an anger management course or counselor to prove that he is really sorry about this otherwise his apologies are just empty words that don’t mean nothing - he could be just apologizing because he got caught. It sounds like he does this in the home to you because he knows he can get away with it. If it really is this bad, send him to anger management or get your child away from this angry man.
June 25th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Bethany
try anger managment
June 25th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Brian
Um….I can’t believe that you didn’t get anger management classes for him a long time ago. I’ve been in the same boat as you and we have gone to counseling and he is better now. He still has a short temper and sometimes explodes but he knows the techniques to calm himself down. If he EVER did that to the daughter that we are about to have, I would take her and leave so fast his head would spin. I’m very protective like that though. You can be rude to me all you want, I can take care of myself. You do that to my 10 year old daughter, that could cause her serious self esteem problems and it would just break her heart!!!! Take her and leave for a few days to maybe a week. When he calls begging for you back, tell him that he needs to get some counseling or you will NOT be coming back. Stand your ground on this. Who does he think he is thinking he’s justified threatening you and your daughter like that. GET OUT if he refuses help…he won’t EVER change. Best of luck to you and always support your daughter.
June 28th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Lee
What you describe is verbal abuse.
Think about family or marriage therapy. Ask him to go along with you. You and your daughter should probably go even if he does not choose to attend.
Start documenting the incidents, including the fact that you asked him to go.
You might also ask your family and his family what their thoughts are. Even if they try to dissuade you from therapy - think about going.
If your families try to dismiss the seriousness of verbal threats, you should not.
I know of too many girls & women who’s men went from words to action.
Some of these can help you judge for yourself.
God Bless
June 29th, 2009 at 7:02 am
Lyle
Verbal abuse is as bad as physical or sexual abuse because the damage is the same. The difference is, he uses words to hurt. I know women who has told me that the words feel like knife stabs in the back. When you are stabbed with a real knife, the wound eventually heals. With an cruel insult or worse, a threat of bodily harm, the pain and fear lingers for months or years. If a child is threatened, the pain and fear can linger for a lifetime!
Don’t get me started on all of the people, men verbally abused as well by both their parents that is passed down to repeat this horrible behavior generation after generation.
Unfortunately, in some cases. The abuse STARTS verbally and can escalate to physical abuse.
For your sake, for your daughter’s sake and yes, for your husband’s sake too, do not put up with this behavior any longer.
Please seek professional help to find ways to handle your husband with his particular anger/behavior issues since every man is different. The best scenario is to get HIM to start therapy. Saying “sorry” after the fact doesn’t mean that he won’t do it again. He has to learn that what he is doing is wrong.
I have a friend who’s father got so angry, that he put holes in the walls of her home! She is almost 50 years old now and she has never been in love with a man!
May God Bless your family.