brownsugar asked:


you have some that do, how do they feel now that they are doing the same thing they said they wouldn’t do. I also would like to know how does the one feels that started the cycle of abuse, do they sit back and say look what I did and are proud of themselves or do they feel guilty. say for example it’s the grandmother, mother, and granddaughter they all are abuser How do they feel about one another?

Kerri

Fallenangelwolf asked:

thing he had start at the same time as the verbal abuse was the emotional/psychological. He start it as my birthfather laid dying. He blamed for what happen at his job and what was happening to his father-in-law. Definitions Emotional/psychological abuse covers a variety of behaviors that hurt or injure others even though no physical contact may be involved. In fact, emotional abuse is a stronger predictor than physical abuse of the likelihood of suicide attempts in later life. One form of …

Geoff

Jadon Sluck asked:


Cats that have been abused can appear severely maimed and damaged all over their exterior. Some may appear to be in perfect shape on the outside, although all of the damage they sustained may be internal or emotional. Even though physical damage is bad, emotional damage is much tougher to fix. Cats who have physical abuse will still answer to a soft touch and soft voice, as long as they know that the abuse has come to an end.

When you have a cat that has been emotionally abused, you’ll need to wait until the cat comes to you. You’ll need to use patience, as the cat will be confused and not know if you plan to hurt him or not. If you take your time and let him know that you are nothing to fear, he will eventually come to you. When he starts to come to you, you can let him sniff you and pet him. After a while, he will learn that he can trust you and he will come to you when you call him.

Yelling, raising your voice, or using disciplinary tools such as flyswatters or water guns the wrong way can lead to emotional damage. If you continue to use the wrong means of discipline on an emotionally damaged cat, the cat can become mean or lethargic. When a cat turns mean, it’s not always a bad thing. Meaner cats are easier to reach, as they still care a bit about what happens to them - while lethargic cats could really care less.

Cats that have become lethargic won’t play, take treats, or respond to anything you say to them. With a lethargic cat, the ideal way to get him to respond is to bring in a companion cat. Over time, a lethargic cat will eventually look for attention, normally a scratch or a pat. When this happens, you should always use a soft voice and snuggle with him. Never raise your voice at this point, and make sure you let the cat know that his behavior is a lot better.

You should make slow movements around a lethargic cat, as he is still quite traumatic. Once he is coming around and letting you touch him again, he is getting back to his normal self. Keep in mind that it may take some time, which is to be expected with this type of situation. If your cat starts to get upset again or if you raise your voice, he will hide again. If you continue to use a soft voice and have patience, your cat will eventually get past this. If you get a cat that is lethargic, you should prepare yourself for a long and very intensive healing period.

Angry or mean cats on the other hand, will either fight and scratch with you, or simply run away from you. With mean cats, the best thing to do is use gentle treatment with a soft voice. You can never try to raise your voice or use strict discipline, as it will only make the cat meaner. Never attempt to trap the cat either, as trapping it will only make the cat react. If you take your time and let the cat know that you are there for him, he will eventually calm down.  

Abused cats are truly a sad thing, although they are out there. Abused cats can be a sad thing to see indeed, especially those that were physically abused. Abused cats need a loving home and a loving owner who will give them the type of lifestyle they deserve. Always remember that if you are dealing with an abused cat - you should always be as gentle as you possibly can.



Kerri

Michael Ehline asked:


When most of us think of babies or small children, normally a big bright smile comes to our faces and wonderful visions of children having lots of fun times while they‘re playing, laughing, and giggling. Unfortunately in more cases than you would want to imagine, this however is not the case. Too often we hear on our television news channel, or read in our newspapers, day after day of yet another child that has been abused in one tragic way or another.

If you are in Anaheim Hills, Huntington Beach, Santa Ana, or anywhere in the orange county area, and child abuse has taken place, contacting a professional child abuse attorney with vast knowledge in this field as well as great compassion for the situation at hand can be one of the most important steps you can take.

Generally you envision cuts or bruises on the child that are visible, thinking child abuse is something that you can see on the child. This is not always true and some forms of child abuse are not always as easy to be seen or detected.

Physical abuse would of course be the most apparent where you would you see evidence of abuse taking place, in the child having bruises, scrapes, burns, cuts, or numerous other visual injuries.

A child can suffer not only from physical abuse, but there are several other types of abuse as well that can cause much suffering for the child they are inflicted upon.

Emotional abuse is unseen abuse that is involved in child abuse and is a type of child abuse that you would not be able to see by the physical appearance of the child. The child suffers from these types of wounds inflicted in various ways upon the child just as they would physical abuse. A care giver being consistently negative to the child, locking a child in small spaces for long periods of time, screaming and threats to name a few.

Child neglect is another form of abuse that is seen in approximately 60% of all child abuse cases. There are numerous actions that can be considered to be neglectful. Some of these would be to withhold food from the child, shelter, or clothing. Failing to furnish adequate education for a child is also considered to be child neglect.



Craig

comfort asked:


based on the different forms of abuse e.g. Sexual abuse,Physical abuse, Financial abuse,Psychological abuse

Lyle

LJC asked:


Verbal abuse is not illegal, but leaves scars that are just as deep as physical abuse. What do you do when someone calls you names such as dumb f**k and f***** whore? Do you think a man should be hit for saying such things or what other recourse do you have?

Jade

Michael Freeman asked:


Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse can be harder to identify, because emotionally abusive tendencies can slowly creep into a relationship in the form of unhealthy patterns.  Emotionally abusive partners seek to manipulate you.  They often don’t want to hurt you, but they’re controlling nature makes them act out in a way that is mentally and emotionally harmful.  Here are some signs that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship:

You feel that you can’t express yourself freely with your partner, or you have to “walk on eggshells.” Your partner frequently express jealousy, and keeps you from engaging in normal interactions with the opposite sex Your partner frequently criticizes you, humiliates you, or undermines your self-esteem Your partner keeps you from your friends, family and support groups outside of the relationship You caught your partner monitoring your email or internet usage Your partner alludes to the possibility of harming you or your loved ones if you “betrayed” or left him or her Your partner implies that if you were to leave, he or she may commit suicide or engage in other self-harm

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but simply point to some of the trends of an emotionally abusive relationship.  Regarding the last bullet point — threats of suicide — it is an especially manipulative tactic.  If your partner holds their potential suicide over their head, they are essentially trying to take you hostage.  You need to bring in a third party if they resort to this or any other form of violence.

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, you need to get help or get out, and you need to do it fast. Even if it never escalates to physical abuse, emotionally abusive relationships can be damaging, possibly leading to stress, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder.

Just like other forms of abuse, it’s common for both women and men to be victims of emotional abuse.

If you are a man feeling stuck in a relationship that may be emotionally abusive partner, I wrote a manual with one goal in mind: to finally leave her It can be very difficult to leave a relationship when you feel responsible for your partner and fear for her well-being — I cover how to do so as quickly and compassionately as possible.

Michael Freeman, M.A., helps men get UNSTUCK from unhealthy relationships. Go here to learn more: http://www.how-to-finally-leave-her.com



Steven

Patricia Woloch asked:


Most people are not thrilled with the prospect of putting an elderly loved one in a nursing home. However, for many families nursing homes are the best option to provide long-term care for a parent, grandparent or other aging family member. When people finally make the decision to place a person into a nursing home’s care, they trust that the facility and the medical personnel employed there will provide loving, attentive care. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and many nursing home residents fall victim to abuse or neglect. In fact, it has been reported that 30% of the approximate 17,000 nursing homes across the country have received violations that could harm residents.

If you have a loved one being cared for in a nursing home environment, it is important to watch for any signs of abuse or neglect rather than assume that person will report any wrongdoing because residents may be:

· Unable to report wrongdoing due to medications or diminishing mental capacity

· Unwilling to report wrongdoing because of fear of consequences

· Unaware of any wrongdoing

Types of Misconduct

Because nursing home residents are basically at the “mercy” of the staff and medical personnel, they can easily fall victim to:

· Physical abuse

· Mental abuse

· Neglect

· Isolation

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse includes:

· Broken bones, sprains or black eyes

· Bruises, cuts, welts, scratches or burns

· Hair loss

· Internal or external bleeding

· Fear or anxiety with staff members or other residents

· Physical restraints on beds and wheelchairs (not doctor approved)

· Drooling, lethargy, dry/cracked lips

· Death

Physical abuse may also be in conjunction with sexual abuse.

Mental Abuse

Mental abuse includes:



Fear or nervousness

Anxiety or anger

Depression

Confusion

Withdrawal

Isolation

Insulting comments



Neglect

Signs of nursing home neglect include:



Bedsores anywhere on the body

Unexplained weight loss

Depression

Lack of general hygiene

Unsupervised wandering residents

Dirty clothing or unkempt appearance

Bruising or fractures due to falls



Isolation

Any nursing home refusal for communication with your loved one should raise a red flag. Signs of isolation could include:



Family members and loved ones not permitted to visit with the resident in private

Restriction of visitors, phone calls and mail for residents

Staff members speaking for the resident, rather than letting the resident communicate directly



Nursing home abuse and neglect can lead to wrongful death or catastrophic injury. If you feel that a loved one has suffered abuse or neglect in a nursing home setting, know that nursing home residents have basic rights that are protected by Federal and state statutes. An experienced attorney can help you take legal action against the facility or medical personnel and help to ensure the abuse does not continue in the future.

Please contact the experienced nursing home neglect attorneys of Snyder & Wenner, P.C. in Phoenix, Arizona who can answer your questions, help protect your loved one and get you the compensation you deserve.



Geoff

Joi S asked:


Sorry if the question seems dumb or obvious but what is the difference if any between verbal and emotional abuse? And do you think that they are worse than physically abusing someone? I think they are all horrible and shouldn’t happen to anyone but unfortunately it happens everyday. Just curious.
Sorry didn’t know what section to put this in.
Sorry didn’t know what section to put this in.

Jamie

Leo L Ryan asked:


Abusive relationship statistics is an area needing much more attention in order for us to get an accurate picture of the reality of the situation.

Whenever statistics are mentioned this is usually referring to the narrow end of the spectrum. It only refers to physical abuse, and only what is known. It does not include mentally abusive relationships or emotionally abusive relationships.

The abusive relationship statistics that are mentioned are not a true reflection of the widespread nature of the problem.

The issue is so hidden, and in spite of any advances that have been made, there is so much that is still not known, because we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.

Combined with this is the reluctance by many of those who are in abusive relationships, to disclose what is happening to them for various reasons.

These reasons are part of the abusive relationship statistics that are not included in the reports we get. They don’t disclose, because they are too scared or embarrassed etc.

This leads to the absurd situation where we have the paradox or contradiction, that indicates the statistics are less than the reality, as these figures obviously, are not included.

Before proceeding, it is important to mention, that these days there is a suggestion that abuse is just as likely to be perpetrated by women as by men.

My response to this is - poppycock! That is nonsense! It is such a red herring and distracts us from the true reality of abusive relationship statistics.

Some women are abusive in relationships, but there is no comparison. This is overwhelmingly a one sided problem, and the statistics we do know about abusive relationships, that I will be referring to as I proceed, are a clear indication of this reality.

From statistics we do know, throughout the world:



at least 1 in 3 women is beaten

coerced into having sex

or otherwise abused at some stage during their lives.



Other abusive relationship statistics we do know indicate that domestic violence is still the single biggest threat of injury to women

More than:



heart attacks

cancer

strokes

car accidents

muggings

and rapes combined



Statistics tell us the most dangerous place for a woman to be is in her own home, not some dark lane, squalid neighborhood, or isolated parking area.

Throughout the world, billions of dollars are spent on safeguarding us from the threat of terrorism.

Abusive relationship statistics clearly demonstrate, that terrorism within the home, is a reality of gigantic proportions, and in comparison, next to nothing is being spent on doing anything about it.

Other statistics are, that in the United States, 3 women are killed every day by a husband, boyfriend or cohabiting partner in abusive relationships.

In Australia, where I live, one woman is killed every five days. Here, in the past week or so, a man killed himself and his three children. Another killed his wife, and another man killed his wife and two grandchildren, and attempted to kill his daughter, who happens to be a police officer.

Another statistic is that throughout the world around 5,000 women and girls are killed each year in so-called ‘honor killings’. They are killed by their own families, usually the father, for supposedly bringing dishonor to the family, often after they have been raped by another relative.

The abusive relationship statistics that are usually not included in any statistics we hear about, are all the other types of abuse that occur in relationships.

This includes:



a range of threats

breaking things

slamming doors excessively

throwing objects

overturning tables etc., etc. Remember Cal in Titanic



It also includes all types of:



verbal

mental

emotional

and psychological abuse

as well as a range of controlling and dominating behavior



Many women are subject to having their whereabouts monitored and limited all the time. They are restricted in the contact they have with relatives and friends. It is often not recognized this is part of an abusive relationship.

All these are figures that are not contained in abusive relationship statistics. This means we never find out about the full extent of the problem.



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