ola asked:


hve this friend.He is lovely and a lover of women.We had feelings 4 each other bt i told him i wanted to trust him and he said I couldnt,so I said no relationship til I cud.We stayed pals,tho not as close and I got on with things.He kept coming to me saying he had feelings bt also flirting with others and trying to make me jealous so I stayed away.One night I ask him why he is ignoring me..not a word to me on a staff night out and he explodes & says its always his fault etc.Wont talk to me for weeks.Next night out we are ok.Then totally out of character,he interupts me talking about this random woman and starts saying how much better looking she is than me.Staring straight in my face and getting more nasty as I dont react.I ask him why,he knows I care for him.He says to say that to him the next day,to come to him and say it.I dont as I am still hurt.He ignores me,flirts with younger women in front of me etcHe acts super happy around me,bt angry/down if he thks i cant c him.Why?

Joan Masterson asked:


One of the most vital tools needed in any relationship is forgiveness. This forgiveness is a means of letting your partner know that you realize they are human and will make mistakes. If you love your partner but find yourself involved in an abusive relationship then understanding how to save an abusive relationship if you really know that it is worth it, can be useful. Abuse in a relationship can be physical, mental or economical, and in some cases even sexual. The abuse may also come from either partner in the relationship and the person that is suffering under the attacks can be badly affected in more ways than one.

Depending on your feelings towards your partner that is abusing you, it may be between a decision of trying to rescue the relationship by knowing how to save an abusive relationship, or rather terminating it completely for your own physical and mental health. Verbal and emotional abuse in the form of insults, rejection and isolation can cause you to be brainwashed and thus develop an inferiority complex. Economical abuse comes in the form of control of all the finances and refusal that you can spend any money even for your own personal requirements. Physical abuse is self explanatory coming in the form of battering and injuring you bodily. All forms of abuse in a relationship are unacceptable, and you should ask your self the reasons why you would like to know how to save an abusive relationship and whether it is really worth it.

Dealing with any sort of abuse in a relationship is both stressful and results in low quality of life because you will suffer, no matter what sort of abuse you are experiencing. In the early stages of the relationship you may not even be aware that your partner has abusive tendencies and these may surface afterwards. If you want to know how to save an abusive relationship then you must ask yourself many questions first. Probably the most pertinent of all is whether your abusive partner can and is prepared to seek therapy to change as well.

As your relationship develops the first signs of abuse may begin to surface as you start becoming familiar with each other. Some warning signs can be where a partner demands constant attention, rushes the relationship towards the next level, extreme feelings of jealousy and the desire to be the controlling force in the relationship. The abused partner can become terrified and expectant of the next attack and self esteem can become eroded. Although you may love your partner deeply and wish to look for ways how to save an abusive relationship it takes some thought of whether it can be worth it over the longer term.

Find out what the pros and cons of the relationship are, and whether it is possible that your partner is also prepared to find a solution to the issues underlying why they are abusive. Carefully assess these problems regarding how to save an abusive relationship and why you feel the need to save it.



Kerri

meg asked:


I posted a question about this same person earlier.
I’ve been deciding all day whether or not it’s a good idea to be her friend. But this thought came to mind. Is she really emotionally abusing me?
Ever since we’ve become good friends I’ve noticed that if I didn’t stay in some kind of boundary she seemed to draw and said something highly opinionated she’d become angry with me while she always says opinionated things and I rarely ever speak on the subject in a highly opinionated way for said reasons.
I can never give her constructive criticism because the only time I tried she was mad at me for two weeks.
She’s always trying to prove me wrong. It makes me feel kind of stupid. She’ll go around to people and ask the question and go
“haha see I was right” It seems like she’s kidding but it hurts my feelings.
Whenever we play fight she puts me in a headlock or puts her hands over my face and won’t let go. In front of peers. It embarrasses me even though they think she’s just joking.
She always hints that she’s stronger than me physically and emotionally and it makes me feel inferior and kind of scared of her.
Do you believe this is emotional abuse because it kinda sounds like it to me.

Patrick

Jenny asked:


Is it emotional abuse when my boyfriend calls me chunky, fat, or retarded but then just says that he is kidding and he says that he just says those things because he thinks they are funny. I know he is just kidding and doesnt really think I am fat but at the same time, it does kind of hurt my feelings. Even though he does those things, Ive told him it hurts me feelings but he continues doing it, I think its become a habit. I know he does love me and he is just kidding though. But would you consider this emotional abuse? Im just not sure because I know he is joking, but he DOES say some things would normally be considered verbally abusive (ex. if a husband yelled at her wife calling her fat) even if he is just joking.
In general, I also feel very submissive towards him. I feel like he belittles me and just generally makes me feel less than him. Like if I do something wrong he will comment and say you should have known better or something and just makes me feel stupid. I feel bad about messing up in front of him because I know he will say something about it/give me a look. Is this emotional abuse?

Tyler

It’s Jess? asked:


I fell in love with this guy 5 years ago and slowly he started hurting me while I was getting stronger feelings for him. I am in love with him but I’m hurting because there is no chance for me to be with him according to him and because of this he has been abusing my emotions and taking advantage of what I feel. Now I had my mom go to the school system and talk to them about protecting me from the harasing that I get from him and his friends. They called him in and talked to him. He told them I was sexually harassing him by emailing him and texting him with how I feel. So now my counselor at school was telling me that I am sexually harassing him and they gave him a sheet to fill out like I got to tell them if either one of us is harassing the other. Because of the emotional abuse my nerves are bad. Like really bad. My back aches and I cant sit for long with out wanting to cry because of the stress. I need help I don’t know what to do. My family dont know either. I could fill stuff out of about the harassing that is still going on but what is that going to do? The people at school don’t understand.
When I’m in my car driving I feel like I need to get out because I feel like I am suffocating.

Maxine