Emeka Esogbue asked:


The streets are increasingly becoming the homes of children in Nigeria, such that if nothing is done a lot more of these children will end up constituting nuisance to the entire nation.  In Nigeria, it is a common sight to find children walking, jumping and running to meet up the pace of moving vehicles so as to exchange articles for money with motorists along major busy roads and streets of the nation. These children are on many occasions compelled to sell “pure water” which they are never meant to consume.

If this is not the idea of staying all day long along these streets, then a child remains in the streets just to hawk oranges, boiled groundnut, push compact discs, fishes, tubers of yam, and other commodities for sale. It is also terrible to discover that most of these children found in the streets never return home at the end of such transactions as they pass the nights under bridges, sleep inside school buildings or incredibly sleep inside market stalls, their places of abode.

This is nothing but child abuse. This article presents the challenges that force the Nigerian children to take to the streets rather than remain in their homes to attend to educational needs and requirements. This will in the end offer a very critical understanding on the contributory factors that necessitate this together with how it can be effectively reduced. However it is apt to define what child abuse is all about, to enable us determine whether this is child abuse or  just what parents of such children involved term “hustling” a Nigerian terminology used to describe an act of making ends meet using uncomfortable means.

Wikipedia.org defines child abuse as “the physical, psychological or sexual maltreatment of children.” It thus includes “neglect,” physical abuse,” Child sexual abuse” and “psychological abuse” as the major tools which occasion child abuse. To Safe Child, Child Abuse, neglected child means “means a child less than 18 years of age whose physical, mental or emotional condition has been impaired or is in danger of becoming impaired as a result of the failure of the child’s legal guardian to exercise a minimum degree of care in supplying the child with adequate food, clothing, shelter, or education or medical care.”

Think Quest sees child abuse as situation whereby the fundamental human right of a child is tempered with. That is, the child is not given adequate care and protection as it’s the responsibility of every parent to take good care of their children. These rights are to education, religion, freedom, movement, shelter etc. The child on most occasions is exposed to unnecessary hardships and odds in life”

Having successfully determined what child abuse is from the different perspectives, we shall now apply it to the Nigerian society and how it has impacted on this very society which before now had very high regard for tradition. Nigeria is viewed as having the potentials in determining and defining the future of the African continent by reason of being the continent’s largest population, an idea which rests on the future of children and the youths of the nation as the leaders of tomorrow but certain situations which erode the right of our children grossly leave the idea at risk. It is hugely a risky venture to think that Nigeria will lead the African continent if she does not urgently address child needs currently plaguing the nation.

In the Nigerian society, children should be considered equally as important as adults because the society entails continuity, children taking over from where adults have stopped when they are grown.

Child abuse in within the Nigerian stretches beyond the ordinary, and this raises great concern to all as children optimum development is greatly reduced by child abuse followed by the unconcerned attitudes of our government not realizing that child are our best resources for the development of the nation.

In Nigerian homes, the idea of domestic servants in which children are utilized against their personal wishes and will continues, these children wake up to realize they are going to live with another human being, whose background, character, ideologies, likes and dislikes and reasons in life are mostly unknown. These children do not even get paid but their parents or guardian receive money on their behalf while they work harder with dim future, and may spiritually viewed as witches and wizards responsible for bringing ill-luck to such families.

While these “modern slaves” are made to sit at home or at best be placed in public schools where educational activities are in inertia, the children of “slave masters” get the best of life, yet many of these slave masters are Deacons/Deaconesses and Alfas in our churches and mosques and we pay spiritual homage to them in the name of God.

A lot of children have been made to give confessional statements to spiritualists under duress, and following torture to deliver address on our they have unturned many homes, which turns out to be self-made stories used to justify stagnant family situations.

Children may also be required to hawk in busy roads as an alternative to education in order to generate money for their parents, and when put together, one discovers that collectively, the articles content for sale cannot worth more than N500.00 (Five Hundred Naira) or consider the case of a small girl who hawks several number of large tuber of yams which even his parents cannot lift from the ground, when she is tired of walking and as result decides to sleep by the road side is raped by a number of unidentified gangs or lured away for ritual purposes, having some of her private parts removed for this purpose.

In this era also, we find many Nigerian children who act as guide to beggars, in most cases it is hard to tell how related they are to these beggars because they are rarely seen conversing except when they are both tired and resting, funny enough, when they are set to go home, commercial bus drivers rarely show the urge or intention to convey them with their buses because as beggars, they are seen as people incapable of affording the fares. Sometimes bus conductors attempt pushing them off their vehicles for the reason stated her.

Many men lure young female hawkers to their houses or elsewhere where their articles are bought up by giving them money equivalent to these articles and engage in sex with them with or without their consent. Our culture gets these victims to keep quiet and not make any disclosures to their parents because they may end up receiving many more torture from their parents.

Not sending children to school may also mean sending them to gambling centers where they mix up with adults of different kinds obtaining different gambling skills and exhibiting them. This mostly occurs because parents and guardians have failed to give their children proper provisions of supervisions or guardianship, and the child is left with no option than to take to what is available to him/her.

Child abuse in Nigeria may never be a thing of the past until the government intervenes; it is on the basis of this that we call on relevant agencies and child-right activist to help ensure that meaningful life returns to the Nigerian children and that they are not denied the basic right to life. When this is done, children will become happy and contribute their own quota to the development of Nigeria when they are grown.   



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Muna wa Wanjiru asked:


Our lives are intricately intertwined with our feelings. As you pass through life you will see many people who are strong both physically and emotionally. You will also see people who are weak. These people could be weak in their emotional outlook and in some cases they will be the victims of psychological abuse.

If you’re not the victim, it’s very easy to ask how anyone can let themselves be abused. The answers to this are difficult for us to understand even if you are trained to deal with these social problems. You could say that for many of these people the person who inflicts that misery of psychological abuse would be a family member. This implies that the sufferer has no control over their lives and they are dominated.

In psychological abuse this case scenario is absolutely true. The person who experiences psychological abuse will be unable to defend themselves. For this situation to occur the abuse has to start when the sufferer is in a weakened condition. For example the victim could be a young child and the abuser an adult who is looking after the child.

Another example of psychological abuse would be that of an elderly person. While this individual is in the prime of their life they are not dependent on anyone, therefore the psychological abuse will not have begun. As this individual grows older and frail the once friendly individual can become a tormentor. It is likely that this individual was at one point in their lives the victim of psychological abuse too.

Regardless of the root causes the psychological abuse is mentally and emotional deteriorating to the health of the sufferer. To make sure that this crime does not continue indefinitely it should be reported to the authorities and they should be informed of the condition of the victim. This will enable them to decide what sort of action should be taken with regard to both victim and tormentor.

Having stopped the psychological abuse does not mean that the person will be able to continue with their course of life as though nothing has happened. For the victim to recover completely from the effects of psychological abuse their needs should be followed up with therapy and counseling. For the elderly this also means looking for a suitable home for them to stay as they may not have the ability to recover from this psychological abuse as quickly as the young.

Regardless of whether the victim is young or old, male or female, psychological abuse is the act of tearing the victim’s self worth apart and making them feel totally worthless. This is how the tormentors are able to carry out their campaign of terror in absolute silence. This is why we sometimes never hear the silent tears for help.



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armenwilson asked:


Children suffer from various kinds of abuse. They are very innocent and they do not deserve such kind of treatment. Children are abused at very tender ages. Sometimes, this abuse is deliberate and sometimes it is not. What can you do to ensure that you are not abusing a child? What precaution should you take when you notice abuse?

Forms of abuse

Many people imagine that rape is the only kind of abuse children can suffer. Yes, rape is just a form of emotional abuse. There is abuse like physical, psychological that children are usually subjected to. It is so sad that statistics on the abuse of children is rising.

The abuse is not discriminative. It does not target girls or boys only. All children are abused. Also, it is not limited to a particular race. Children of all races are under threat of abuse. This does not exclude the United States. About 4 children die per day from effects of abuse.

Does this worry you? It should. Children are the next generation. The way we bring them up has a big role in what kind of people they become tomorrow. It all depends on what we want for them.

Your responsibilities

When children are abused, there is need to fight for justice. They are not capable of filing law suits. You should help them fight for justice. You should help collect adequate report and evidence so that assessment and investigations can begin. This should be the case in any kind of abuse.

You need to know the responsibilities you have in ensuring that there is no physical, emotional or even psychological abuse inflicted on these innocent lives. You should also know the available channels or reporting such abuse.

The forms of abuse are usually correlated. Like when a child is physically abuse, it is likely that they will suffer emotional and psychological abuse as well. When you criticize, reject or refuse to nurture them, they will suffer emotional blow. This is abuse even when they are not your biological children.

Children have a right to feel protected by parents or guardians. Neglecting their basic needs or failing to provide these needs is an abuse. You are responsible for seeing that they get that which they deserve. You also have the responsibility of reporting such abuse when you see it.

You start by recognizing what abuse is for these children. You must be able to notice emotional child abuse and protect your children from it. We are all responsible for ensuring that the child abuse statistics come down. The rising trend should stop. These children are human and they deserve to be treated so.

The power and capacity of child abuse prevention is in your hands. You decide now whether you want to protect the children or not. Will you keep quite over evidence of children being abused? You should make a point or reporting it to relevant authorities so that justice can be done.



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Melanie deJonge asked:


“I’m absolutely not in an abusive relationship - my partner’s never hit me.”

Does this have a familiar ring to you? Maybe this sentance or another one that’s quite similar has been expressed to you by someone you are friends with, or a family member - or possibly even yourself. It’s facile to attempt to justify a degrading partnership as “not actually abusive” simply for the reason that they has not resorted to physical violence, but does that really exclude it from the label entitled “abusive” relationships?

Frankly, the response is “No.”

Relationships can be in many descriptions while never involving actual contact - for instance, verbally abusive relationships.

Verbally abusive relationships are when one of the members is often berating and condescending to the other partner. This could involve insults, calling names, disapproval, or sarcastic speech. In most situations, the relationships are simultaneously verbally abusive, which means, both members are verbally abusive to one another.

Even if the relationship is “only” verbally abusive (as opposed to physically), it can wear on a person’s spark and can be incredibly unhealthy to be in. Days on end of listening to dismissive things regarding yourself, said in the most hostile and vitriolic voice possible, destroys a person’s self concept. Then when that turns to year after year of being forced to listen to a never ending flood of verbal abuse, there can be harm inflicted on the person’s self-esteem which sometimes is irreversible.

If you have a person (possibly yourself) who might be involved in a damaging, harmful relationship with someone who consistently dehumanizes them or yells at them, ask them to seek help before the violence gets worse. Your friend may have the opinion that it will never escalate to actual violence, and in reality it might or might not.

The main point is, that it’s not important if it gets that bad or it doesn’t. The hurt is being inflicted right now, one hateful word at a time.



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Daryl Campbell asked:


You still recall the first time you and your significant other argued. It wasn’t really over anything important. You didn’t think so then and you still don’t.  That’s not how the other person took it. It wasn’t that they felt they had to win the argument but to win, it was necessary to humiliate you.  

You raised this point to them after things had cooled down but they dismissed it by saying it was no big deal (didn’t seem that way at the time) or that you were wrong so they had to set you straight.

You let it go and figured it was just one of those things. Regrettably it was one of those things; one of those things that kept happening over and over again with alarming frequency and a lot more intensity. Every time you would point this out you got the same excuses mixed in with a lot of defensiveness.

They also added a new wrinkle into the equation. It’s always your fault. They’re so good at the power of manipulation and words that at times you believe them. The problem is as of late you’ve started to believe them more and more.

Empires have been built using words and psychological manipulation. Using them in a relationship which is depended on direct one on one contact can be a powerful and overwhelming force which can be difficult if not impossible to stand up to particularly when it becomes entrenched in the relationship.

It gets worse when you realize the other person knows you. Your likes and dislikes, dreams, hopes and fears are there for your significant other to examine like they were doing a case study.  Verbal abusers like to make you feel bad and knowing how you tick is a perfect way to accomplish it.

But relationships are not supposed to be about a CEO chewing out an employee. It’s a give and take that demands both people respect each other. That means understanding that no one can be right about everything all the time. At given times in any dating relationship mistakes are going to be made and each of you will have to apologize for something at some point. 

If you have mentioned this to the other person and they still do not understand where you are coming from or refuse even do a little self assessment then you may want to give serious thought to the future of the relationship before another day goes by. 

If you like the person and want to continue than you better develop a thick skin and the ability to tune them out when they get ramped up. Yes time and you may be able to change them but how much are you willing to take before that happens?

Just remember know one deserves to constantly be belittled. You are not a project that needs improving, you are someone that brings an equal amount of good things to this or any relationship.  If they can’t see that then quitting the “company” may not be such a bad idea.



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anonymous asked:


Each time I encounter the body’s ability to heal itself, I’m in awe. And to witness the role of intention in this is even more mind-boggling.

As domestic violence survivors, you know the scars and wounds of battering. Did you know you can have a very active role in healing these injuries?

I’m going to insert an earlier writing of mine in which I’m reflecting on a milestone in my own process dating back to 1988, because it says it from that battered place common to domestic abuse survivors. This piece is entitled “The Silver Lining, Laced with Gold.” Allow me.

The Silver Lining Laced with Gold

The ropes, pulleys and metal held my vertebrae ever so still in cervical traction. Nurses, doctors, police, social workers and clergy rumbling about, and me wondering how did I get here. A cervical spine injury brought me here, an injury resulting from a domestic abuse altercation over my intervening between a violent father and a wounded child. That’s how I got here. The question is where do I go from here?

My upper body so compromised I couldn’t lift a cup of tea, much less my arms over my head. The days were long and the pain was relentless, with shots of fire going down my arms day and night. After many months of physical therapy and this half-life in between, I yearned for a more expedient recovery and I longed to rid my mind of flashbacks.

Where was the space between the images of black and blue bruises across my baby’s face and the sounds of violent roars directed at me? “I’m going to break your neck…I’m going to break your neck!” No wonder I could not recover; there was no space.

The healing energy is the space between the thoughts, Deepak Chopra reminded me. Now it was my job to allow it in. Daily meditation had been a way of life for much of my life and the time came to invite it back into my routine.

It was through meditation that I discovered the magical space between my thoughts…that gap…a sanctuary of still, sweet silence. It is here where all is, and becomes, well.

From here my body mended and my heart healed. There was self-renewal, exquisite peace, expanded vision and divine communion. It became my inner sanctuary. It was the silver lining, laced with gold. I knew from here on as long as you have your soul, you have everything you need to re-create your life. (J. King, 2004)

Healing for Your Emotional Abuse and Physical Injuries

If I only had time to share one thing that will unequivocally move you to recovering from emotional abuse and physical injuries of domestic abuse, it would be learn to meditate.



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Cdmohatta asked:


Those who have control and power can inflict emotional abuse. It is as bad as physical abuse. Some people call emotional abuse as worse than physical abuse. Let us discuss about emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse may leave deep scars on the psyche. In emotional abuse the perpetrator withholds all the emotional satisfaction from the victim. The self-dignity of the victim is bruised repeatedly and he/she is shown as a lesser person. Emotional abuse can take many forms. Devaluing the person is one such abuse. Giving no value to a persons intelligence and opinion, and repeatedly questioning his/her intelligence is one such abuse.

Public humiliation of a person is another kind of this abuse. To make someone feel inferior and laugh at him/her and make others join the fun is another form of emotional abuse. Feeling of safety is our emotional need. to make a person feel unsafe is another way of victimization. Threatening to leave that person alone without any help and terrorizing him/her is one such form.

Taking away financial freedom, making the person totally dependent on the abuser is another common abuse. Lack of money can stop the victim from enjoying some pleasures. Some abusers even withdraw the use of communication instruments such as telephone etc from the victim.

Emotional abuse can take many other such forms. these abusers are sadists who enjoy degrading a human being and destroying their emotional freedom. This is a crime against humanity. If you are undergoing the slightest emotional; abuse, please protest and protect yourself.

Related link :-

1-Marriage Advice

2-Relationship Quizzes & Tests



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